Being the mother of this wonderful star child, has allowed me to reconnect with my inner power, the one I had always had but unconsciously, had delegated to others, because of many Soul-crushing experiences that led me to not see my own value for a long time.
When my daughter was born, I experienced a radical change in my perception of the world: what previously resonated with me, after one moment to another, ceased to be like this... I had an epiphany, where I became more confident in who I wanted to be for my daughter.
By that moment, I was in a new country, with new people (no family members), and having a totally different reality than the one I had imagined before. At the same time, I was going through a deep recognition of me as a woman and “life-giver”, that started during my really tough postpartum experience, where I was juggling with my roller coaster hormones and emotions as a result of the lack of support I was having, plus merging with my daughter in the most raw and deepest kind of love I have ever felt. It was a non return journey of consciousness and self-realisation.
I began to listen to my inner wisdom and to follow my intuition. I became aware of my parenting choice and with that, I understood that I didn't want to keep following the steps of an adult-centered society that put children's needs at the bottom of the priority list. I understood what I wanted to offer to my daughter and the type of mother she needed me to be, at every moment of her life... I realised that I got to be someone connected to her Soul, and not someone whose values were marked by ‘the outside’ (society, fashion, cultural standards, customs or family inheritance).
Then, as I started to recognise myself as a conscious creator and not a victim of my past, I could start the healing process of the wounds of my own childhood, whilst exploring myself -dynamically-, every time certain situation offered what I needed to see in order to keep growing as a human being, as a woman, mother, daughter, friend, and citizen of the world.
During this wonderful motherhood journey, I have discovered that being a mindful, conscious parent goes far beyond having children or telling them that we love them very much... it requires first to be an emotionally healthy individual, who is connected with her/his own spirit and is aligned to her/his Soul’s truths.
In this sense, when we are assuming the very important task of parenting another human, without having healed the negative situations that marked our childhood, then we automatically repeat -most of the time without being aware of it- the very same toxic pattern in our own children, who inherit these sad stories. No matter if we express verbally that we love them and we satisfy all their material needs, if we are not really ‘present’ in heart, spirit, soul, mind and body, we will surely connect with them from a low frequency space filled with complaints, chaos, drama, comparisons, confusion, fear, control, threats, punishments, manipulations... and perhaps we will end blaming them for our anguish and misfortune.
This is why I became an advocate of the Slow Parenting approach, because it is imperative to re-educate ourselves as parents, so that we can deliver a more kind and sensible generation to this world.
So, what is Slow Parenting?
The Slow Parenting approach, invites us to slow down the pace in which we currently live: busy, in a hurry state, unconsciously disconnected from our main emotions, from Mother Earth, etc..., and from this starting point, becoming more aware of what we deliver to our children, in terms of their upbringing.
This parenting approach starts from the parents themselves, because in order to create a mindful presence with our children, we also get to have time to be playful and to enjoy each moment with activities that fill our BEings.
I am sure you have heard before about that wise saying of "in order to take care of others, you get to take care of yourself first"... This is key, because when we are nurtured from the inside, we can create a calmer and more patient environment, being able to understand and respect the unique time that every single child has in each stage of their own development.
So, you definitely get to trust your gut instinct as a parent taking the route of this slow-paced approach, because you become their guide while fostering the own innate curiosity of their spirits, without pushing them to grow beforehand.
I truly believe that there are lighter and plentiful ways to raise children, and that we can embrace the particular complexities and challenges of every age and stage, with love, boundaries and respect.
Join me in this celebration of childhood!
Thank you for being here with me!
Kizzy Petit
Author - Doula - Parenting and Women Coach